By Allison Ebner
I recently had the opportunity to travel to Denver, CO for a conference. I’m usually ‘all business’ with these trips, rushing out and back to make sure we stay on track with all the happenings at EANE. This year, however, I went out a couple days early with my daughter and we visited Rocky Mountain National Park. It was truly one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen, and the sheer magnitude of the landscapes and wildlife demanded that we put away our ‘hustle & bustle’ lifestyles and stopped to appreciate what was right in front of us. It was an absolute blessing to have such poor cell/internet service up there, so we put down our phones and just sat still in the tranquility and peace. During one of several short hikes to their amazing lakes, we encountered many other visitors to the park, all extremely kind and wanting to talk with us about our adventure and what we were doing next. I was amazed that everyone we talked with seemed to be similarly struck by the fact that we really are a very small part of the ecosystem in comparison to the vastness of the park, and it made me wonder how things in our society today have degraded so much to the extreme divisiveness we see today.
In our workplaces, we talk a lot about innovation, agility, and results in leadership circles. But there’s one strategy that often gets overlooked, dismissed as soft or secondary: kindness. Not the passive, conflict-avoidant version of niceness that lets problems fester, but radical kindness—the deliberate choice to lead with empathy, respect, and genuine care, even when it’s difficult.
In today’s workplaces, where tensions run high and perspectives often clash, radical kindness isn’t just a pleasant ideal. It’s a strategic imperative. As leaders, we set the tone for how our teams navigate disagreement, handle stress, and treat one another. The question isn’t whether we can afford to prioritize kindness. It’s whether we can afford not to.
Why Radical Kindness Matters Now
Let’s be clear about what radical kindness is not. It’s not about creating false harmony or avoiding tough conversations. It’s not about being permissive or lowering standards. Radical kindness means approaching every interaction with the assumption that people are doing their best, that their perspectives matter, and that respectful dialogue can coexist with high expectations.
Research consistently shows that psychological safety – the foundation of which is respect and trust – drives innovation, retention, and performance. When people feel genuinely valued, they take smart risks, share ideas freely, and collaborate more effectively. When they don’t, they shut down, disengage, or leave. The culture we create as leaders directly impacts our bottom line.
Leading by Example: Practical Behaviors
- Radical kindness starts with how we show up every single day. It lives in the micro-moments: how we greet people in the morning, whether we truly listen in meetings, how we respond when someone makes a mistake or challenges our thinking. Here are specific behaviors that make radical kindness tangible:
- Assume positive intent first. When someone disagrees with your decision or misses a deadline, your first response sets the tone. Starting from the assumption that they’re trying to do good work—rather than that they’re incompetent or difficult—completely changes the conversation. Instead of “Why didn’t you get this done?” try “Help me understand what got in the way.” The information you gather will be more honest, and the relationship will stay intact.
- Listen to understand, not to respond. In your next meeting, try this: before offering your perspective, repeat back what you heard from the other person. This simple act – “So what I’m hearing is you’re concerned about the timeline because of the resource constraints, is that right?” – demonstrates respect and often de-escalates tension before it builds. It’s remarkable how much conflict dissolves when people feel genuinely heard.
- Acknowledge the person behind the opinion. Before diving into why you disagree with someone’s approach, recognize the validity of their concerns or perspective. “I can see why you’d feel that way given your experience with the last product launch” goes a long way toward keeping dialogue open, even as you chart a different course. This isn’t about compromising your position – it’s about honoring their contribution to the conversation.
- Share your own uncertainties. When leaders admit “I’m still thinking through this” or “I was wrong about that,” it gives everyone permission to be human. Vulnerability from the top creates cultures where learning matters more than being right. Intellectual humility is one of the most powerful forms of radical kindness because it levels the playing field and invites collaboration.
- Notice the small moments. Greet people warmly when you see them. Ask about their weekend and actually listen to the answer. Notice when someone seems off and check in privately. Celebrate small wins publicly. These micro-moments accumulate into culture. They signal that people matter, not just their output.
Making Space for Productive Disagreement
Here’s a crucial distinction: radical kindness doesn’t mean eliminating different viewpoints. It means making disagreement productive rather than destructive. The healthiest teams I’ve seen have vigorous debates about ideas while maintaining absolute respect for people.
As leaders, we can establish explicit norms around this. Try framing it directly: “We challenge ideas vigorously but respect people absolutely.” Or “Disagreement is expected and valued here; personal attacks are not.” When these boundaries are clear and consistently reinforced, people feel safer bringing their full perspectives to the table.
When tensions do arise between team members—and they will—radical kindness means intervening thoughtfully rather than ignoring the problem or forcing superficial harmony. Facilitate conversations where people can express concerns while maintaining dignity. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is address the elephant in the room and create space for honest dialogue.
The Ripple Effect
The beautiful thing about radical kindness is its multiplier effect. When you consistently model this behavior, it gives others permission to do the same. One kind interaction can shift someone’s entire day, which shifts how they treat their colleagues, which shifts team dynamics, which shifts organizational culture.
I’ve seen it happen. A leader takes time to really listen to a frustrated employee. That employee feels heard and valued, so they extend patience to a struggling teammate. That teammate, feeling supported rather than judged, asks for help earlier on the next project. The project succeeds because problems were surfaced and addressed quickly. The cycle continues.
This isn’t naive optimism. It’s practical leadership. People remember how you made them feel long after they forget what you said in that meeting or what was in that email. Your consistency in showing up with genuine care and respect—especially during difficult moments—creates the foundation for everything else you’re trying to build.
The Choice Ahead
Leading with radical kindness requires courage. It means staying open when it would be easier to shut down. It means extending grace when you’re frustrated. It means believing in people’s potential even when they’re struggling.
But this is exactly the kind of leadership our workplaces need right now. In a world that often rewards cynicism and self-protection, choosing radical kindness is truly radical. It’s also the most reliable path to creating teams where people do their best work, treat each other well, and actually want to show up each day.
The question for each of us as leaders is simple: What kind of workplace do we want to create? The answer starts with how we choose to show up today.